Finally Finally Finally!

Well there is such big news around here, with so many great things to tell you about!  First, Karis has finally moved to NICU Room B : D  If I could make that little smiley huge I would because that is how I feel about it! I really miss the sweet nurses in the other room, but we have to keep moving in order to get our little cutie home.  Well if you are friends with me on Facebook then you know this already, but we finally got to hold Karis.  And let me tell you it was HEAVEN and is every time I hold her.  She is so sweet and snugly and oh her sweet smell.  She makes just the cutest little sounds and moves around a little.  I just love being so close to her and kissing the top of her little head.  She is just the sweetest baby every. Now when we do Kangaroo Care they only keep a pulse ox monitor on her so I get a little crazy listening for her breathing but I this will continue for a long time.  I was talking with my sister and remembering when her girls were little and I would watch them.  When they were babies I would always go into their room every 20 min or so to check they were breathing so you know I think I will be VERY crazy about it with my sweet girl. 
  As I thought before not many Moms are doing Kangaroo Care.  There is only 1 chair and two hour time slots per day. I don't know if they don't know about it or just don't want to inconvenience the nurses.  I really don't understand, but in all honesty it means I can do it more. I feel sad for the other Moms actually.  I think in many ways they are VERY BOUND by having to act a certain way because that is the Japanese way ( this is just what I think).  I mean I can't imagine any new Mom not wanting to snuggle with their baby for an extra hour after visiting time, out of the incubator.   It is the first true privacy that I or we have had as a family in 3 months since the NICU here is just two big rooms.
  In other BIG news about Karis- she made it to 4lbs today!!!!!!Yay for 4 lbs.  We didn't see any doctors today, so our update about Karis was very quick just from the nurse.  I asked Dr. Homa this weekend if he thought they would take her out of the incubator soon.  He couldn't give me a real answer, but of course more wait and see.  Actually, I feel ok about this one.  She is still so tiny, I don't think any of the other babies are that small that are in a crib. He said they would really like to see here stop having Brady episodes, where her heart slows down and also apnea with her breathing.  On Wednesday her gestational age will be 38 weeks.  He keeps telling me that soon this will go away. with age...I don't know it just seems like something we will have to wait out for now.
Prayer Request

• For Karis to keep gaining weight
• For her Apnea/ Bradycardia to resolve
• As she starts to eat bottle or breast that the transition will be smooth. ( We are going to talk about this on Wednesday with the translator present)

    I want to share something I am taking part in this month- October is Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  I have found it very hard to not be able to grieve for Judah the way " I think" I should.  Having Karis in the NICU has forced me in many good ways, to keep moving.  But there is apart of me that wishes I could just be sad for Judah for days on end and cry and cry and cry. I often wonder if I am doing enough to remember him. It is just not fair that he is not here.  He was wanted and loved just as much as Karis, but we only had him here for such a few days.  It is hard not to have him creep into every big event we go though with Karis, I assume it will always be this way for me.  So, since this is the month of his original due date, I decided to participate in a group call Capture your Grief 2012 on Facebook, and have been posting things as they pertain to me. Well today October 15, is something called International Wave of Light Day.  At 7 pm you light a candle in memory of a lost child, and this continues all around the world.  Participating in this project has been so good for me.  It has given me an outlet to focus just on my love for Judah and my grief over his death.  I am going to make the pictures and what I wrote into a photo book.  I really liked how this will end on their original due date October 31.  On that day I want to spend it with my husband acknowledging our loss of our son.  I am writing about this because I want to make sure people know I am ok emotionally ( I think some of my facebook posts have concerned people who don't know what I am doing) I am just remembering our precious boy.

Here are some cute snuggle pictures for your enjoyment!!!

First snuggle with Mommy

Daddy snuggles are so nice!! I want to sleep on Daddy all the time!!

First Family photo outside "the box"!!!

This is the photo for Wave of Light-In memory of our babies- Judah Masaki Moore. For Carey and Jeremy Bear- In memory of Rudyard Bear, Desmond Bear, and Oscar Bear.  You will always be missed and loved.